This powerful message is what I need right now

I totally dig city trails.

Hey, hey, hey!

I made it back to the keyboard. Winning!

With all that’s going on, I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.

Thanks for the enthusiastic feedback on the last post. Who knew intros would be a hot topic? So glad it landed for a lot of you.

So glad you let me know!

I’m doing something new as a distraction and loving it. I’m calling it joy-gazing - scanning the recesses of my brain to find those happy, funny, silly, spit-take moments that I kinda forgot about.

And when I spot them, I smile or LOL. Then I stare at them for a bit, like stars.

When I joy gaze (during my walks, acupuncture, or chores), I conjure every detail I can remember to piece the moment together. It helps prolong the cheery feeling, rebuilds the scene, gives me a little more time to stare back.

Like the time Jen and I dug a trench for the new pipes at her parent’s place in Owen Sound - THIRTY years ago. I was right back there on a giant heap of sand with the sun cutting past the roof, swatting gnats away from the brim of my hat, a blister burning the base of my index finger. And then the snake! EEEk. I had never jumped so high or scampered so fast in my life! We laughed for days.

Joy gazing helps keep my fretting at bay but sometimes worry seeps.

Spoiler – this post is about the voice in my head. No cause for alarm, it’s a good thing.

Read in your browser for the best experience. Ready, set, read on!

---

I was weaving between people and strollers, happy for a slice of sun, but feeling a bit down about the world, the tariffs, how expensive everything is, how expensive life in the big city is, how expensive life with kids is, the nail-biter election.

Too many facets of my life are in the “out of my control” zone right now and it’s entirely distressing. Ugh.

Even the cherry blossoms didn't cheer me up.

And then my nice voice that notices things, guides me, soothes me, spoke up.

The voice is genderless because the voice has always just been the Voice. Anyway, Voice, which is a rich D tenor, said this -

You’re not without, Andrea. You are within.

I was one of those jerks that straight STOPPED on the sidewalk, y’all.

Come again?

You are not without, Andrea. You are within.

Thank you, dear voice. I heard you.

I am wrapped in this message.

I’ve been exploring these words for a couple weeks now, seeing how they fit for me. The “without” is fascinating as I’ve been contemplating the dual meaning of external or lacking. The message has layers and is endlessly applicable for me right now.

And I’m using the term “message” not affirmation on purpose. To be an affirmation, there would be no negative words (oooo, I love a double negative). So, I’m not saying it to myself. I’m using it for myself.

I thought it might be interesting to share how it’s helping me!

1.   I’m doubling down on mindfulness.

I committed to building a deeper relationship with myself this year. I’m trying different meditations, learning and leaning into Ayurveda. Joy-gazing.

I’m super digging this book, using its chakra balancing meditation to stay fortified and grounded. Keeping still has given me wisdom and dollops of peace.

This message is encouraging me to keep onward with inward.

Tracking the price of bacon, too. Why so HIGH?

2.   I have it already. I don’t need it. I have something better. Not now. It’s coming.

Real talk. Why does an avocado cost so much these days? Do I really need to spend fifteen dollars to make guacamole from scratch?

I’m guessing the price launching will get worse before it gets better, so this message is helping me consume even less. It’s a scary time for a lot of us, but maybe less and lean can be empowering?

It’s certainly forcing us to see differently and to focus on what matters. I’m hella resourceful. As is Step. We are not without. Well, maybe without my guacamole, but that’s ok.

3.   I am sitting with difficult emotions.

Society makes it tough for women to express anger and it’s especially challenging for Black women to openly and securely display their full emotional selves. Tone-policing and Angry Black Woman labels are real things.

You are not without. You are within.

I’m not without anger. Anger is within. I’m not without rage. I’m not without fury. I’m not without disappointment. I’m not without frustration, fear.

I’m working dang hard at acknowledging each emotion, processing it, and when I’m ready, releasing it.

The new step for me is: “When I’m ready.” I used to bypass emotions and not name them. I’m getting better at name and claim.

4.   I am what I need.

I don’t have to look very far for my good friend, good company, an enthusiastic cheerleader, the person who will call me on my bullshit. That’s me!  I am what I seek.

And when I take this thought further, the message reminds that I am also what I needed.

Past tense.

The way I produce, the way I parent, the way I partner with Step, all come from lived experience of being a kid, a PA/AP/Show runner, a partner.

I’m choosing to be the support I needed. Existing in two space-time continuums? No biggie.

5.   I’m building a healthier relationship with time.

I often think the clock is working against me, that there’s not enough time in the day and everything takes longer than I expect.

But if I try on “You’re not without. You’re within,” when it comes to time, then perhaps I’m not without time? Perhaps, time is not something exterior and contrary and the big baddie that I can’t defeat.

Could it be that time is inside me, and I have more control than I think?

Lofty? Idealistic? No. Time is a construct. I can construct it how I want to. Working on this one. It will take time!

6.   I’m locking in my writing routine.

I’m not without ideas and there are plenty more words inside me. Lucky for you all!

This message has given me a great deal of comfort in a wonky time. Maybe it will do some good for you, too (as long as you don’t hard stop on the sidewalk!).

My ulterior motive for writing this post is to see if you also have messages camping out in your head rent-free. You do, right?

If I’m not alone, please do share the message that’s been helping you!

---

My May YES-ESSENTIALS  

Stress resilience is always on my agenda. I wrote about my proactive and reactive decompression strategies this time last year.

Coincidence?

I’ve got some humdingers that help me take ‘er down a notch. I thought it might be helpful to share what helps calm my bits.

Caveat – I’m not a medical professional. I can doctor a hilarious email and examine my wardrobe and diagnose a wicked outfit, but I am not a physician.

Please consult someone with the appropriate abbreviation before or after their name before taking anything. 

With that outta the way, here’s my Holy Grail of self-soothing!

Family trek!

ALL HAIL TRAILS – walking/hiking with my family is my favourite soul-settling activity. They always fight and my son dares to jump off something treacherous, but my heart loves our feet walking in the same direction.

LIGHTS OUT – This tincture is my one and done for great dreams and deep sleeps. Made in BC!

GOING GREEN – I discovered Ashwagandha and L-Theanine (the antioxidant in green tea) about three years ago. This mix does wonders for me. Totally helping with the hockey playoff stress. Are you watching these games? My heart.

OUTTA THE INBOX – unsubscribing has a nightclub bouncer effect that I’m finding satisfying these days. Bless you, boundaries.

RIGHT RUB – I’m improving my circulation with the Ayurvedic technique of Abhyanga sometimes before, sometimes after showering/bathing. The sesame scent gives stir fry vibes but is surprisingly soothing.

PURPLE RAIN – This iconic song is actually about lavender. Ok fine. I’m on my own with that interpretation, but taking lavender does the trick for me when stress swells.

BRING IT HOME – My rad naturopath has me on homeopathic treatments which are soft as buttercups and working wonders.

SILENT TREATMENT – My meditation practice has been on point this year. Tips on how to make this habit sticky.

BOOGIE BREAK – I crank up the tunes on the weekend and test my left knee with dance moves. Dancehall to be specific. It’s not pretty, but it’s certainly fun!

BOOZE BREAK – I’m still not imbibing which is hands down the most shocking thing about me as a Malbec lover. Staying off the stuff is helping my stress resilience and sleep 1000% percent. My new yum num.

COMING CLEAN – I’m on a spring mission to change ONE THING in each room to make it more functional, fun, clean, calmer. Kind of like Holly’s 1 percent rule, but more. ‘Cause 1% is not gonna make a dent around here.

I do all these things, plus, plus (oh lawd, it’s a commitment) – but the practice that has reduced stress and sustained my chill the most is daily meditation.

Life changer!

---

C’est tout! I hope you continue to figure out what works for you as the world swirls. At least we’ve got each other and that’s pretty darn swell.

Peace out!