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I don't get out of bed until I've done this

Hello, hey, hiiiiii, bonjour! This is yescessary – a mostly monthly post where I share my thoughts, musings, mini and mega breakthroughs, as well as links that like me back. I’ve got a packed family life (that includes a ton of hockey!) and I use this nook to share how my exec producer brain helps things run more smoothly at home. To my new readers – hello and welcome. I’ve been expecting you and I hope you enjoy my version of a word rollick and subscribe! To the “been there from the first post readers,” I’m deeply grateful that you’re sticking with me as I figure out how to write, work, channel my passions, and wake up with wonder every day. September blew by like an FI racer. October - swallowed whole by Canadian Thanksgiving, work travel, and All Hallows' Eve. How is it November? I love this beautiful pocket of time before it gets cold and messy. The layers! The boots! Open jackets! I’m really trying to balance my funky style with a nod to French style. I will never be a minimalist (I need more choices), but I have streamlined the wardrobe. Simple, classic, and, of course, space for cowboy boots. I am Canadian. I teed up this whole bed thing and I’m sure you’re curious. Speaking of go. Let’s do this!

  • 1 IDEAI Visualize Before I Start My Day

  • 2 YESCESSARIESTips from My Lifestyle Files

  • My YES-ESSENTIALSAll My Yeses Right Now


1 IDEA – I Visualize Before I Start My Day One of my favourite parts of my job as a development exec is playing “What if?” My imagination goes into hyperdrive when we’re deciding who we cast, where we shoot, how we will fill the thirty minutes or the hour. Playing make believe with a bigger budget than we end up with is all sorts of fun! I fixed something big in my life about four or five years ago. I was depleted on every level and was not fulfilled. I was outsourcing too much of myself to others. One big thing that was always pointed outwards - my quirky and super fun imagination. When I started on this journey of supporting myself and my family with what worked at work, I leaned into what I knew how to do – visualize. Little did I know how much I would use it! And now, I don’t get out of bed until I’ve done it. Why? Because… Visualizing helps me ease anxiety and manage stress. Visualizing is my ace-in-the-hole for planning and problem-solving. Visualizing helps me build the day I want to star in. Yep. Star in. I said it. When I’ve shared how I’ve crafted my own visualization practice with others and how integral it is to my everrrrything, they are intrigued and want to know more. Can I count on the same response here? No idea! But I’m still gonna share! Hitting up a definition because visualization is a mongo word. I form mental images of my day ahead and envision optimal scenes. I also try to see what could go wrong. Not catastrophizing (heck no), troubleshooting. I’m not manifesting at this point of the day; not aiming to bring something specific into my life. Though visualizing is a method of manifesting, I use daily visualizing as a planning tool. It helps me stay organized, manage pressure, and catch any details I missed. I maintain more confidence as the hours whip by because I have a solid Plan A.(G). Visualization just works for me. And others. Ask the sportos, the career careerists, the goal-getters. I dig the euphoric feeling of lucidity. I’ve always been enamoured, fascinated, and satiated with dreamwork. Practically speaking, this is how it goes down. After I wake up, I keep my eyes closed and my head firmly in drool optional position on my pillow. Then, I purposefully (and mindfully) think about upcoming key moments in my day. I create snippets of scenes that I want to happen. I decide what I’m going to do, how I’m going to feel, what’s my priority. I do this every single day, even on Sundays. Especially on Sundays! AG aside - when the kids were teensy, I did not have the bandwidth (or time) to visualize each morning. I want to acknowledge this in case there are new parents reading and struggling with the “Holy heck” of your situation. Or if anyone has debilitating health issues. Or if anyone is dealing with aging parents. The cycle is real. Step and I white and brown knuckled it until the big one was nine. So, if you can swing extra pillow time – excellent. If not, I encourage you to try to find pockets of time in your day that could work for rest and visualizing. It's changed how I walk through this world. FYI - my morning movie is not step one in my planning process. I’ve already decided (or have an idea) of what I’m wearing, what I’m eating, what we’re eating, what I’m packing in my bags (so many bags!). My imaginary walk-through is one of the finishing pieces in my planning. As I’m imagining my day ahead, here are some of the questions I answer -

  • What do I need to do to help get the kids out of the door? #parentgoals

  • What am I wearing? Hiya. Fashion right up there.

  • What am I eating for lunch?

  • What’s for dinner?

  • What do I need to prepare for?

  • What do I want to say today?

  • What could be my challenges?

  • How do I feel?

  • How do I want to feel?

  • What would make this a better day for me?

  • What is the one thing I need to do today?

  • How am I going to hit Head, Heart, Body today?

I don’t spend more than five minutes, ten tops. I’m hitting on the main activities and fast-forwarding through. I’m not playing virtual View-Master for very long. Yes, I dated myself there. Now, I use visualization for more than mornings -

  • Packing for day trips, weekend trips, longer vacations (that we’re working on affording again!)

  • Planning my weekends. I love to mix in some alone time and excursions with the kiddos

  • Entertaining

  • Speaking engagements at conferences/panels

  • Going to weddings. I pack extra clothes (the kids tend to spill), activities, snacks

  • Life goals, career goals, yearly goals

I especially use visualizing for birthday parties or dinner parties. I walk through all the steps of any big gathering because it helps me remember the details like cocktail napkins, making ice, having enough garbages. Upping the flavor profile of my mushroom risotto with garlic butter came to me on the pillow. Oh, how I love my pillow! THE BREAKDOWN

  1. I have a game plan: I already know what I think I’m going to eat, which route I’m going to take, what I’m going to bring, say, do before I embark on my morning motivation/visualization. This is an operation“smooth out” and I’m on high alert for what I haven’t considered yet.

  2. I show up empowered. I’m working on sleeping better, so it’s tough some mornings to bring the positivity. I treat my morning visualization as exactly that – a treat. Extra time making out with memory foam + positive thoughts? My kinda morning cocktail.

  3. I fast-forward to the feeling. How do I want to feel in each scene? Satisfied? Understood? Proud? Happy? Ready to do it again? On time? Lots of envisioning of being on time. I aim to find a positive emotion for how I want to feel. I imagine the emoji.

  4. I’m detailed, but fast. I start at the beginning and work right to the end of my day. I am detailed and specific and see each step before I move on to the next. I’m a hit it and quit it visualizer. No need to linger. Quickity quick.

So, does it work? What I can say is that my days are kind of as I imagine, but not really. And it doesn’t matter. Because how I feel when I navigate my day is exponentially better. I start each day with significantly more comfort, and I hold onto that feeling. I can’t predict the flyers or the hijacks or the super tough days when I question “What is this all for?” I respect hard days. They make life interesting and help me grow. Lots of growing lately, folks. Oi! Thought it might be interesting to hear what works for me and how I bring stillness and envisioning into my day! MORE on visualization? Voilà!

  • This article talks about our brains as a programmable hard-drives

  • This piece gives ten ways to use visualization

  • Love this quote from James Baldwin on cultivating an interior life


2 YECESSARIES – TIPS FROM MY LIFESTYLE FILES I’ve been keeping track of what works for me and my family over the years so I can repeat it. Or enact it. Here’s a couple from the log. I NEED A GREAT FAMILY PHOTO Our family photos are missing someone – me! I have plenty of pics of the kids, tons of pics of the kids with Step. As the dedicated family photog, I am ironically missing in action. Every fall I think to myself that I should take a banger family pic in November so that I can order the holiday cards and get them sent out the first week of December. Every year it’s a miss.

In this technological age where our phones take pics for us, where they can create a slide show with music and edited audio, where we can brush, mask, augment, brighten, filter - how are there no decent pics of me with my brood? This holiday season, I want the challenge of which brilliant family photo to select, and not the panic of trying to snap one – quick. Maybe it's time to outsource... Say lactose-free cheese! I DO OUR OUTDOOR HOLIDAY DECOR EARLY I was hurrying home from the gym, hauling a couple bags of groceries on foot, and I saw Dani in a white tee, tending to her urns, getting her holiday decorative greens in. Strange sensation - envy. Not because she’s olive skinned, round in the right places, with silky (that fresh flat-ironed business) chestnut hair. Because she was ON IT. Dani let me in on her secret. She always does her outdoor décor early to avoid the deep freeze. Who wants to be outside in freezing cold weather, prying old plants from a ratty urn when you can be out in unseasonably warm weather, ahead of the game? The answer is nobody. I've stuck to mid-November (definitely before December) to get my holiday décor out ever since. I'll be out there this week!


My YES-ESSENTIALS – All My Yeses Right Now EATguacamole toast (this is gluten-free bread) and try adding toasted pumpkin seeds. Pepitas, you so pretty! TRY - Tapioca and rice flour. It’s the gluten-free gateway to Crisp Town. I use ½ tapioca flour to ½ cup rice flour. Works for fish and to coat chicken wings. Leftovers in the air fryer. 5 mins. Chef's kiss. DIP - Just discovered this local-ish honey condiment which goes brilliantly with them there wings. MAKEStock. I know. I’m a hippie. I keep a homemade batch in our freezer every winter because the real stuff doesn’t touch the store-bought. SUPPORT – This hair butter is light and effective. We give new meaning to frosted tips in Canada. SMELL – Pet peeve? Scented candles that don’t deliver on the wafts. I have the little one and she's packed with good good. STOCK - 'Tis the season for sniffles and scratchies. I haul one of these in my kitbag. CARRY – Speaking of kitbags...I dig cross-body bags. Snagged his Baggu pouch in periwinkle. ROCK – found these socks in a tiny mall in Waterloo. On sale. Us rink rats need all the protection we can get. DRESS – I've always admired Parisian style and now I’m committed. Of course, I'm adding more than a dash of Afro-fleek. I dig this guide but I swap luxury items for local. Support local! WRITE – Came across this cool writing contest for youth in Grades 7-12. One page. Right amount of investment for my kid. SEE – Without squinting! I love readers for computer work and reading books. Pink checks, oh ya. BE – this definition of integrity is my beacon. Also, Nia Long! Nothing else to add to that. GIVE – my son handed out Halloween candy for the first time this year and liked it better than going out. Ahh, buddy. Loved this piece.


Feels sooooo good to be back at this. Thanks so much for hanging for a spell. I appreciate you. To my American readers. Happy Thanksgiving! All the best to you and yours. Love and peace peeps. Back soonsies!


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